The Stepford Wives

Because I like to do 'craft' things like knitting, sewing (ok, so that's a love/hate relationship) and anything that involves making a tremendous mess on my dining table, I frequent a fair number of crafty blogs. It seems to me that these are divided into a) radical GRRRLL-type blogs, which I'm really a bit old and staid for (I don't need or want a wristband with a skull embroidered on it); and b) the Stepford Wives.

These blogs are written, sometimes delightfully, by women who make beautiful things, some of whom have quite elegant taste. So far so good. But I realised recently that I was starting to feel a bit nauseated, and I have worked out the problem.

1. They all have small FEMALE children called things like Milly Molly Mandy (or Lily). Yes, my daughter is called Phoebe, but at least it's hard to spell.
2. They spend lots of quality, happy, smiley time with Milly Molly Mandy, in which they never wonder why the paint had to be spilled or why children only want to knit when you're just finishing something.
2. They all have husbands to whom they refer coyly as 'Big X', who make no appearance whatsoever except an occasional manful building of shelves in blogger's craft room (build your own bloody shelves, woman).
3. There is never a moment of disharmony, except for when they go off for a blog sabbatical. I have to assume that this is when they scream at their kids, fight with their husbands and drink too much wine. After a brief foray into the real world of life with men and small children, they return for another season of Cath-Kidston-themed fantasy.

Today, Milly Molly Mandy is squeezing lemons for homemade lemonade; earlier we went up to our local farmers' markets and bought a daisy plant and some rhubarb to make crumble tonight. Isn't that lovely?