9 to 5

I know I'm lucky because I don't have to go into an office every day. I know I'm lucky because my work is something that fits my skills, indulges my love of solitude and pays reasonably.

Here are the Top 3 things I don't love about it:

1. Clients who think that they are writers. They brief you. You write exactly to brief. They change it all, with particular attention to adding words and syllables, then send it back to you so that you can take in their changes. You wonder why they hired a writer in the first place. You grit your teeth and bill them.

2. Clients who don't know what they want. They don't brief you. Instead, they call you in for meeting after meeting. You make suggestions. You submit proposals. They still don't know what they want. You go ahead and write something anyway. They discover what they DON'T want - which is, of course, what you've just written. Grit teeth. Bill.

3. Clients who think you sit around all day waiting for their call. They ring you or email you and say 'I need some help with this'. You say 'Fine, I can get it back to you by ...'. 'Oh no', they say, 'Actually I need it this afternoon.' You wonder how long it has been sitting on their desk. Depending on how often they pull this stunt, and how many other client sins they commit, you grit teeth and get it done, or say 'sorry, no can do'.

I am really complaining a lot at the moment, aren't I? I probably just need a slap and a good shake. Or as a friend of mine used to say 'Remember - at least you're not plucking chickens in the Western Suburbs'.