The Competition




Kathryn Budig (She Who Was Born to Make Us All Feel Yogically Inadequate) in
eka pada rajakapotasana, from Yogajournal.com

I don't go to group yoga classes anymore, mostly because I haven't found one I like around here at a time that fits in with my odd and ever-changing schedule. I have a private lesson once (occasionally twice) a week and try to fit in home practice most days. This works for me because we can arrange the timing to suit both of us; it also works for me because I find the element of competition seems to sneak into every class and I don't like it.

Having said that, I'm well aware that yoga brings out my own competitive streak, even in my individual lessons. Like any endeavour, there are occasional break-throughs, and long periods where it seems that nothing changes. What seemed like an amazing achievement a year ago now seems humdrum - I need the next fix. When I don't seem to make any progress in the poses I hate (yes, not a very yoga word, but I'm being truthful here), the strong temptation is to give up, go into a corner and indulge in the self-talk that says 'I'm hopeless, I'll NEVER be able to do that, I don't know why I thought I might ...'.

So back to my previous post. It's constance that's the key. So I struggle horribly with backbends. So keep doing what I can, even if it's not very much. That's all. Hanging in there and sticking with it, even when I feel like a failure, is the victory.