A couple of days ago, as I hit the 30-minute mark on my daily run, and the magic endorphins kicked in, I had a sudden rush of affection for my legs. Which got me thinking ...
When I was younger, I hated my legs. Too skinny, too chubby (take your pick), too pale and freckly, too much cellulite, too much thigh muscle. Now that I am older, and it's no longer desirable/necessary/relevant to me to wear short skirts or prance around in a bikini, I can love them for the fact that they can go for a long time without getting tired, they have climbed mountains, they hold me up in difficult yoga poses and they have hiked the Inca Trail. Function over form, I guess.
Instead, I tend to focus my Limb Loathing on my arms, which seems to be common in women over 40. We don't have to hate our legs so much, so we transfer our body issues to the other bits that are on show.
I resolved, there and then, to stop thinking about my body as disparate, unloved 'bits' and try harder to give the whole damn thing the respect it deserves. I realise this will be difficult, but I will do my best.
When we're young, we don't know to appreciate our youth (or can it only be appreciated in hindsight?). In the same way, we don't seem to be able to appreciate our bodies until, for whatever reasons, the end is in sight.
I called this post Stealing Beauty because I feel that we - our objectified, commodified modern selves - overlook our own beauty every single day. Of course I don't mean beauty in the sense of aesthetic perfection - I am never going to look like this - but in the sense of being complex, active, creative and productive.
Not new or original thoughts, I know, but you have to have them for yourself for them to mean anything. I could say all of this to someone younger - my daughter, for instance - but she won't understand what I mean until she sees it for herself. I hope that will be sooner rather than later.
Tomorrow I will stop being earnest and worthy and return to frivolity.
3 comments:
Bravo! I applaud these sentiments and have been trying to move in a similar direction. Not always easy, but worth aiming for.
Very true - we are more than a pile of bits - we are whole people.
I admire that you can run for 30 minutes - no wonder I've never achieved a runners high - I've never run for long enough obviously!
Imogen, I think the trick (and Mater would know better than me, being a much more committed runner) is going REALLY slowly to start. That way you can run for absolutely ages, hit the endorphin rush and keep the motivation to do it again (and again ...) And then as you get fitter, you can get a little faster. Most of us start too fast, get tired, don't feel the benefits and give up! I still 'run' at an absolute snail's pace, but the fact that I can go for forty-five minutes or longer makes me feel like a champ!
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